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by KERRY MULIA
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Stuck at a crossroads and indecisive about whether to go left or right, most of us are faced with confusion when it comes to decision- making. Whether it’s deciding which flavor frappuccino to order, picking classes for next year, or choosing a dress for prom, we have all faced the dreaded feeling of being torn by multiple options.
When I was 5, I had solemnly sworn that when I grew up, I would be a princess. It was silly, I know but after constantly watching Disney movies with my little sister and singing along with the songs, I dreamt of becoming one. My mother bought me a Cinderella costume and my sister was Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Whenever we wore the costumes, we would sing and act like princesses. Our father would act along, calling himself the king, and my mom was the queen. This was my first career choice.
Then in fifth grade, I was inspired to become a doctor due to my parents’ dreams of wanting me to be successful. At first, I didn’t oppose to the idea, but when I realized that I couldn’t handle the sight of blood and it required an excessive amount of studying, I knew that being a doctor wasn’t for me.
I moved on from that phrase and my next career choice was to be a teacher. After observing teachers throughout my schooling and tutoring my friends after class when they didn’t understand something, I’ve grown to love teaching others. However, this choice was quickly dismissed when I heard many of my peers wanted to become teachers as well. I continued tutoring other students, but the passion wasn’t the same and I found myself questioning what my future would be. As I continued to ponder, my aspirations were still unclear.
After my last choice, I was stuck at a crossroads on where to go next. Career day in middle school left me in confusion about what to do and aspire to: there were so many careers to choose from. I considered becoming a chef, an artist, a singer, or even an astronaut. I wanted to try so many different things and I didn’t know what would be right for me.
Now in my final year of high school, I still have no clue what I want to be, what college I should attend, or what my major should be. I am faced with multiple difficult decisions and again left in confusion. I can’t help but feel envious of my fellow classmates and friends who already have a plan for their future, while I’m stuck not knowing whether to turn left, right, or go straight ahead.
The constant questions from my parents and others about my plans have left me with anxiety. The thought of where I should go next is always in the back of my mind, and I have begun to feel uncomfortable about the whole topic.
As senior year passes, I now realize that it is completely fine to not have a definite idea for the future. I feel comfortable where I am now, and I still have time to explore the different paths out in the world. I now see that there was no need for me to compare myself to others with set career paths because I will eventually arrive at the same place as they.
For now, I will stay at my crossroads and confidently wait to take the next step towards my future.